Heyy... Actually, i just got home. From where? School & Slack. Hahaha... 1stly of course went to school. Did Sciences today. Ok, it was tough. Really. Haha... Couldnt understand a single thing at first, but it was still ok then. Today, I wear a bit nice, Dixon wear until so formal. But still looks good. We were like, "Dickson, you look handsome today!" Hahaha... Actually, imitating someone lah. Haha... Then after school went for SA talk. Student Ambassadors. Hahaha... & Wow Wow Wow! There were a lot a lot of stages we have to go thru. Angie almost give up, but we encouraged her. Hahaha... She still joined in anyways.

I started to recall those days when I joined in as a councillor in sec school. Those interviews, proposals, probation & stuffs. But heck... The result was still as great. The fun & laughters, the tears & sorrows we shared, I still love it. I cant wait to be a member of SA. But hafta go thru interview 1st!! Hahaha... Wish me luck people!!

That's about it 4 school. Then went slacking. Where? Town! Coz Siling want to go to work at Cathay. So, we went there. Got a chance to leave my lappy with my sis for a while. Hahaha. Then, we went to eat at Long John Silver. Chat & Slack. Hahaha... I believe everyone had their fun. I had my fun too. Although my mind is somewhere else, I still try to enjoy myself. Coz' I believe Real Fun can only be enjoyed when you're with your cliques. & yeah, so, I did had my fun with them. Thanx a lot, guys.

I dont know why my heart hurts terribly. I shall try my best to 4get about it. Time will heal all wounds. I believe in this. My cliques & friends are going to help me pull thru. I hope. Hahaha... I just haf to wish him all the best. Hopefully she's the right one for him. What else can I do rite? Yeah, my heart still has him in it. No matter what, I still love him. But I cant possibly take him from somebody else even tho' I want him so much. So yeah, I wun think too much about it. I'll find the stronger side of me.

Haish... Life's tough. Really. But just for now,

"It's the end of the road
When something ends Something begins,
But now it's just the end of the road
When someone loses someone wins
But now it's just the end of the road
Don't get to fix it if it doesn't break
But now it's just the end of the road
When you gotta leave
It makes you wanna stay
I know it's the end of the road
It's the end of the road"

I'll update this song soon. I need songs to motivate me. I can never forget him. I'll move on, but my heart stays. =) Till next time aites. C ya! =)

So, let me update about today. Nothing much happen today. I was slacking at home. Coz I dont know why I feel so lazy to go out today. Maybe coz I was tired out. So, I just slacked at home 2day. Using my lappy, download songs, organise my school stuffs & chat... Since just now afternoon, been chatting with good-&-close-fren Dixon... This guy, very nice 2 ALMOST everybody. Sometimes would accompany me at the interchange till my bus come. Too nice le... Nice in almost every aspect. (Too bad he not malay. If he is, he'll be number 1 on my list!). Hahaha....

I'm seriously bored now. So sian. Plus, I'm hungry. Anybody care to deliver food to me?? Hahaha... I'm really really hungry... I dont know what to eat & I dont know what else I can find to eat, besides Instant Noodles. Dad has to work OT. Sis went out with friends. Another Sis went to work. & Mum's at home doing housework. Sheesh... I cant believe I'm spending my Saturday alone... =(

On a lighter note, at least have my lappy & TV to keep me company. Even though there's hardly any food. School's going to start a 9 on Monday. Feels sooo good! Can sleep longer & wake up later! Hahaha... Of course, school will end late 2. Like 4.30, if I'm nt wrong. Ergh... & I hate the thought of Enterprise. With the faci in mind & the tough Problem Statement given... Solving it becomes such a chore 2 me. Splitting headaches everytime. Stress is always on...

Oh & who do you think will win The Dance Floor?? I am so spoiled for choice.Each & Everyone of them is soo soo good. I guess we'll just wait & see. I cant wait for tomorrow. Will be going blading & have dinner @ Swensens since tomorrow is Sis 24th birthday!! Weee~ Soo happy! I hearts my family...

& these people too - Dixon, Angie, HuiQi, SiLing & Boshen... Hahaha... My cliques... Can never 4get them... They just make my life more worthwhile! Plus, HIM too. Hearts them soo much. (People, be grateful & thankful your name's on the list! It's hard to get your name listed you know!)

Till next time.

P.S/Going to find food to eat... Hungry!

Ignore the previous entry arh. It's just something I wrote to let my heart speak what it's really feeling. So, yeah. Don't be bothered by it. In anyways, today is the last day of the week & i had Introduction to Communication Practice with Mr Effendy. Hahaha... As usual, he's lesson is always full of laughter. I had fun. I believe we had fun! Haha.

& W25N just did the most craziest thing ever. We ordered Pizza from Canadian Pizza & had like a picnic in class! Crazy, dont you think?? You should know Canadian is buy 2 for the price of 1. So we ordered like 5 boxes of pizzas & had another 5 somewhat for free! Hahaha... This is crazy! We spent in total about 140 dollars, where the people who wanted it paid 8 bucks per person.

Seriously arh, we had so much fun! We finally bonded together! Even though the bond is not strong, coz we try not to be so close, the friendship is still there arh. We even shared the pizza with Mr Effendy. Hahaha... On a serious note, i was just wondering, how come sometimes it's hard to be friends with someone who just hurt us? Ok, basically, I had this classmate, who made a few of us very angry with her. Now, she wants to be accepted by us but while others may find it easy, i dont!

There's just something about her lah. Coz originally there was 6 of us who are very close. But now that she's trying very hard to be accepted by us, a few of us drifted apart. Maybe it's time to try to accept her, but we have to sacrifice like 1 person, coz he/she will feel left out once we bring her in. Haiz... Oh wells, let nature takes its course.

"Unrequited love,
Unanswered questions.
Have you really moved on?
Or are you just trying to make me move on?"

Why must my life turnout this way?
Why cant it be full of happiness?
Why must I be this way?
Why cant I smile truthfully for once?

Love.
It's just a 4 letter word.
But it means so much to me.
Why cant you just understand me?
Why are you doing this to me?

You melt my hardened heart.
You make me whole again.
You made me smile just by talking to me.
You told me you loved me.

You asked me to be yours.
I rejected you.
I wasnt ready, I said.
& you moved on.

Whatever happened to your dearest?
Whatever happened to your miss you's?
Whatever happened to your i love you's?
I never knew.
You told me you loved me.
Then, You had a change of mind.
I'm at a lost for words.
Why? I asked myself.
Why did you change your mind?
Is it because of me?

I still love you, I said.
Ohk, you said.
It was not easy for me to say that.
Yet you make it sound so easy.

I envy other couples.
I envy girls having someone to love them.
I envy girls feeling so secure among the one they love.
& I start to wonder,
Why can't I be like them?
Why can't I have someone to love me?
Why can't I feel so secure?

I wish I had the answers.
The answers to everything I'm unsure of.
Even though the truth hurts sometimes.
I decided to write your name.
Write it somewhere, where it always stays.
Finally, I found the right place.
In my heart, coz that's where you stay.

In the end,
It all brings down to me.
I was the one
who never learned to treasure others,
who never learned from her own mistakes,
& who never admits to her own feelings.

In the end,
I was the one who loses,
loses someone I love,
lost in love,
& who never get to feel true love ever again.

yours truly,
fyra.

Heyy.. Another tiring day. Wednesdays. I hate Wednesdays. Coz of Enterprise Skills. Argh... I'm so frustrated. So full of angst. I dont know where to start explaining this. But I just dont understand why she must give those comments. Do too much also wrong, Do too little also wrong. I dont know what she wants. Neither does my teammates. Argh~ I dont know how Im going to fare next week. Its so frustrating doing something and you feel like not a single soul appreciate it.

OK OK, there is somethin wrong with our presentation, but she does not have to give those freakin hurtful comments. Ahh... Forget it lah. Talking about it is no use anyways. It's over. There's always next week. I just hope, really hope my team make a comeback this time. We cant go on doing it wrongly everytime.

Then, just now went to Pizza Hut with my cliques. It was kinda fun, but the atmosphere is a bit different. Must always mind what we say. But heck, can't do anything about it. Lets just hope my life will be a bit better as I go on. Life has to go on anyways, even tho' this problems does come & affect me sometimes.

& i just felt like breaking down just now. He's not helping either. Sheesh~ I know I need him. I really need him. But I dont know whats in store for me. I cant do anything about it either. I just have to go with this, "Desperation will turn into hope." I hope so. But I'm not desperate. I just love him for who he is. Haiz... I dont know what else to say. Im too tired to even think straight now. I hope tomorrow will be a new & better day. Hopefully.

Till next time.

*/U are the one I love.

So, today, was okayy... Haha... Actually, I had quite a great time today! Coz it's Computing & Mathematical Methods. My Fave module. Today, we did MovingBox. Tough, Tough... Really... My group from 5 ppl, became 4, and from 4, became 3. Coz 1 of the girl quit school. Another 1, wasnt really interested in doing this. So, it was left with Me, Doel-korkor and Nadiah. Hahaha...

We did everything and then the Faci was like "Can you do this or not?", "What if you try this?". Wahh... We fought all the way, man. It was like fighting a losing battle. Really. & then, the faci only did it for my group which is like the least in numbers. Thanx 2 Nadiah, the stress was lessened. & the funny thing was, whenever we got something done, Nadiah & me would go jumping on the chair, giving Doel "high blood pressure". Hahaha... Pity him. But I believe he had a great time with us arh. Haha... Called him Doel korkor, coz he's like my big brother. Haha. He's older than me & I guess he treats me like a younger sister. Nice guy to talk to & have fun with! Haha...

Then, today also went for SLA Fiesta. I joined SA with my cliques, Bowling with SiLing & SLC with my cliques. I was extremely happy today, besides getting to work with the 2 best people & joining the same SLA as my cliques. I shan't elaborate, but I'll always have that image imprinted in my mind. Now, I know my comfort zone. Hehehe...

I think I'll have a good night's sleep today. Haha... In anyways, I'm tired out. My brain juice level is low. Crack my brains to solve the problem given today. Shucks~ & tomorrow is Enterprise Skills. Not one of my favourites, but will try my best to do it. If still doesnt turn out right, Pizza Hut will help. Haha... With my cliques again.

Ahh... Tired. Till next time. =)

*/being right beside you is enough for me to be my cheerful self again. U are my comfort zone.
*/meimei <3>

Heyy... School's been great!! So, as promised, I'll update on school.... Haha... School life basically revolves around PBL. Haha... Nothing much goes on except entering school before 8:30 am everyday. Spend first 1 hour with Faci, got the problem, and spend the rest of day solving the problem. Haha... Having breaks in between and stuffs. Shan't elaborate more. Sometimes I wonder why ppl think RP is the most relax poly ever. Maybe because you hardly see poly students (all of them!) entering school at 8:30 am everyday and leaving at 4:00 pm everyday. Haha...

But oh wells, lets just say, its NOT. Haha... Cracking your brains everyday to solve 1 problem and doing 1 presentation everyday for each module really tires me out sometimes. But heyy, at least this is better than sitting at home listening to Mum nagging at me almost everyday. Hahaha...

Enough about school. What else will make you look forward to school everyday if not YOUR FRIENDS!!??? Hahaha... I've got real great friends in class. Mostly, my close friends are Chinese. I don't know why since sec sch, my close classmates are mostly Chinese. But heyy, it's ok. As long as they're nice to hang out with... Like my group, A.D.B.S.F.H. Hahaha... We even got that name. I don't believe this. A-Angie, D-Dickson, B-Boshen, S-Siling, F-Firah, H-HuiQi. Haha...

We hang out with each other almost everyday after school. We're like very close arh. Always look out for each other, especially A&D and B&S. That's because they're like the "screen" couples. Haha... Shan't elaborate more. Later I'll get hack by them... Haha... =P In anyways, lets just say they're the most fun people to hang out with.... I feel grateful to have friends like them. =)

Kayy, anyways, just to add on, just now had Sciences. This use 2 be my cup of tea in Sec sch, but now it's my cup of coffee. Haha... I dont drink coffee. So you get it?? Haha... My fave module so far is Computing & Mathematical Methods. Haha... Get to do software applications & stuff. The tough part is mainly configuring it to do what you want it. But, put all that aside, best thing is still the done project! Haha... =)

I'm now still in class, chilling out with friends. Gawd, my mind is soo somewhere else when I'm writing this down. Haish... Life's tough. But heyy, live it on coz' there's so much more things in life i've yet to see. If anyone actually understands what I'm trying to say....

Till next time, ppl! This is Fyra, signing outz! =)

Heyy, bloggers!!! Here I am again!! Haha... I'm so sorry about that old blog of mine - http://silence-ism.blogspot.com. It's currently not working very well. So, here's a my new address kayy - http://life-brandnew.blogspot.com. Haha... I miss blogger so much. During my hiatus, I went to use opendiary instead. So, thats why ppl can hardly get thru to me. Sorry about that. But now that I'm back, keep those comments coming in yah!!! I seriously got a lot of things to talk about. Mostly about school. Haha... Ok, since I'm already typing aites, let me just give a brief intro about what you guys can expect to read from my entries.

1stly, of course, about my school life. First week in school and stuffs, which actually revolves around PBL. 2ndly, my good friends in class. W25N!!!! Wee~ Love them loads. Such a great place to be in. A lot of laughter going on in this class so far (but we still do well for our studies kayy!). Haha... & hey, i guess, that's about it. Of course, I cant write evrything in one day. There's a lot to write on... By that time, I hope you guys wont be bored of my blog. I'll try to make it as interesting as possible.

In the meantime, I got to alter that template of mine. Till next time `adios.